Session - 10/3/2001

Wow, realized it's been two weeks *snickers* And booooy did the Doc get a load. Got to see Spazzboy in his full glory. Missed Session last week because of the camping trip. And I warned her, he idles at Warp 3.... and today he was zinging along trying to catch her up on the entire 2 weeks, in ten minutes or less...... he left her behind a couple times *chuckles* Took a while to slow down and get the connection going to where we could make some progress.

What progress?

Cognitively, we've got this multiplicity thing down pat.

It's the emotional thing we've got to work on. Sure, we can deal with certain emotions in certain ways, but there's not as much organization as there could be to make things function smoothly. We still spin out of control. Need to connect that cognitive smoothness to the emotional chaos.

Focused today on getting ourselves, well, a little more focused after the two week span. More in prep for next week than anything. It' still really damned hard to go in with a mission of what to work on, accepting that I'm in therapy. As it's still really hard to accept the help and guidance.

My birthday is May 18. Look up 1973 on the chinese zodiac. That should tell you everything in a nutshell, if you go for that sort of thing.

*smile*

Not to mention taking the others into account *chuckles*

It's mainly getting the available energy to move in the direction we need it to. Ask DS. I can say "hi" to her without a phone, or postcard, or keyboard. I've done it to several others that I've known over the internet. Never met them, never spoken to them other than through a keyboard. But energy can be moved and directed in a certain way strong enough to be noticed. A mental thump, so to speak. I can easily thump the Doc. So can Spazzboy. Asshole tried it for the first time today and ended up smacking her so hard with it she felt like she was stabbed. He.... needs a little more practice with this sort of thing.

Whether or not you believe it is up to you. I certainly believe it. I have proof. Some people are sensitive to this sort of thing, and some aren't. Some believe it to the point of religion, others ignore it, others are scared of it. 200 years ago I'd have been burned for witchcraft by now, or at least done the exorcism dance. And way before that considered the tribe's Mystic. To each their own, I suppose.

Without even looking at me, without even being in the same room, C can tell when I've switched simply by the flux of energy...... heat..... presence. DS when she was here could tell by the same, too, and I know she can tell when we speak online.... before I let her know I've switched.

It's a funny thing about multiples. There are many of us (other people, not "us" us) that have a hard time keeping watches running, or their cars or appliances in good condition. Why? Every person has energy. It's what makes the body run, when you dumb it all down. Now, take 5, 10, even 50 or more "people" and squish them into one body..... each of these people having their own amount of energy. Turns them into a bit of a nuclear reactor, doesn't it. The amount of energy available tends to short circuit appliances, blow car fuses, drain watch batteries.... the list goes on.

Is multiplicity actually more of a paranormal phenomenon than a mental case? *shrugs* Up to you to decide, really.

So anyway, I have all this energy. Sure, I can use it to clean house (ha!), do my homework, and do the things normal people put their energy to work with. Of course..... I still have excess. This is why many multiples becomes jack-of-all-trades..... but not good at any of them. All this excess energy has no direction. Luckily, I've been able to keep the direction going for the most part. Doc says I'm (we're) the most organized and successful case she's ever seen (and Spazzboy and I chose her specifically because she's had a lot of experience with DID). I'm managing a 4.0 average at school, and overachieving in the classes like all hell given everybody's input. Seem to be setting the standards in all my classes, much as the other students tend to dislike this *chuckle* This is why, on the outside, if you didn't know, you woudln't be able to tell that I"m not me, I'm we.

But this is all cognitive. There's still that hitch when you get to the emotional part of it. There's the potential..... the resources we have between us is amazing, and we already have the ability to manipulate this energy to an astounding degree. Now it's just fine tuning it all.